my best friend is 99.99% sure she is moving to new york in a couple of months. the king of cities. the quintessential city. the city we all imagine when we think anything is city-like.
sometimes i think the way she walks through the city is different than the way i walk through the city. we don't see each other very often but when we do i feel like i step out of the act i put on with almost everyone else i know (with the exception of a handful of high school friends). her day looks nothing like my day. on our daily commutes we may cross the same roads, even visit the same locations, board the same train or bus, sit in the same seat, and never know it. her tour of the city is patterned, so is mine. if we were to exchange, we would be tourists.
when i told my sister about my friend moving away she said, "good. edmonton's too small for them." i felt about the same. as all of my friends slowly become adults (because i don't know what that is still) and move away (go home, explore, or visit) i realize that we all walk through the city differently because we're all tourists. perhaps it is idyllic, but they have these beautiful dreams with big settings. whether we achieve them or not edmonton IS too small for us.
edmonton is the cafe at the airport. it's a waiting city for those who dream big. can edmonton be personified with something more iconic or human? sure. but i think personifying edmonton as the 20-something dreamer seems just about right. for a long wait you find a table or a seat that is comfortable. you accessorize it with things that mean something to you, like the familiar worn-in coat you put over your chair. you eventually start to talk to people who are in the same position as you, waiting for their next flight. you start to enjoy their company and really start to listen to them. soon, too soon, your flight is called. though you've come to enjoy your stay more than you thought you would and you look back at the people you shared it with, promising to stay in touch, you board the plane with the returning excitement of your final destination.
sometime in the future as you enter the corporate cafe on the block of your new home city, a faint sensation of nostalgia creeps over you. you vaguely remember the people you spent your waiting time with and realize, with satisfaction, that you made the right choice. those people were bound by their own tours, not the cities or destinations to which their path brought them. intersecting settings are coincidental and you can try a bit to alter these paths but you cannot alter the path life's tourists are fastened to.
OR, as radiohead would say:
sometimes i get overcharged
that's when you see sparks
you ask me where the hell i'm going
at a thousand feet per second
hey man, slow down, slow down
idiot, slow down, slow down
Your idea of personifying Edmonton as the 20-something dreamer is, in my opinion, the best personification I could think of for the city. Maybe that's because my Edmonton is mainly the university world, but I find myself identifying with the person you described. This city, right now, makes me nostalgic for my childhood home, while at the same time lets me dream about my future, whether that will take me across the river or across the country.
ReplyDelete"edmonton is the cafe at the airport". I love this! And I fully agree with you. I think it's great that your friend is moving somewhere as exciting as New York (my best friend lives there as well), it is an awesome place to visit. As Edmontonians we see the city as being too small and we have these dreams to travel and see the world, and honestly, I think this is a gift in some ways. Having visited New York a few times I noticed that people there see the city the same way that we do, as the "the king of cities. the quintessential city", they don't care to leave because they don't think there is anything better. As Edmontonians we do have dreams to see the world, perhaps because we sell our own city a bit short, and these dreams force us outside of our bubble. Regardless of the reason, it is nice to be excited for adventures traveling and learning new things. It is partially for this reason that I like being from Edmonton, because I dont know if I would have the same desire to explore otherwise.
ReplyDeleteI absolutely love this post, Mia!
ReplyDeleteI wish I could better fill the shoes of the tourist. Completely agreeing with you, I do feel that Edmonton is a "waiting city" and that many of us just do our time here while we await something more grand. The airport idea is a wonderful one, but to me it seems so direct... You go to the airport when you already have a destination in mind and the beginnings to a new life mapped out - Like your friend.
For me (I don't know if this is different for other Edmontonians), I feel almost paralyzed. I want to get out and explore and perhaps lead a more exciting and meaningful life elsewhere, but I don't know where, and I don't know how. Every time I feel like I'm making headway in my life's decisions, summer rolls around and the city doesn't seem so bad anymore. More than anything, I think the city is stuck in an identity crisis that has pervaded its inhabitants.
That's how I feel, at least. I love the airport cafe metaphor, but I feel like it's too decided and direct for me.